For mysterious reasons, talking about money is almost taboo in our culture. We aren’t alone. Other cultures also have similar hesitations.

Conflicted attitudes towards money are nothing new either. A couple of centuries ago Balzac came up with one of the more interesting quotes about money, which nowadays is often paraphrased as “Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.”

Much of the stigmata that money bears as a topic of conversation is probably due to the practice of using wealth as a measuring stick to value a person’s worth. Which is, of course, a ludicrous practice.

Money doesn’t determine worth. There are lots of admirable people who happen to be of modest means. Conversely, there are lots of scoundrels with fat bank accounts. Although the accumulation of wealth is one way of determining a person’s accomplishments, it is certainly not a conclusive method. Just ask our old friend Balzac.

What money does do, though, is help people live the kind of lives that they want to live. I’m not talking about the conspicuous consumption of a lavish lifestyle. But rather the stuff that counts.

Like having a better relationship with your spouse because you aren’t crumbling under the burden of financial stress. Like being able to educate your kids. Like living out your life with dignity. Like making the world a better place by supporting your favourite charities. Important stuff.

This is worth talking about. And yet most people don’t talk about money.

In my line of work all I do is talk to people about making smart decisions with their money. And I have some interesting conversations.

Conversations such as with the 45 year old who is just now starting to figure out how to piece his financial puzzle together, and asks why didn’t anyone teach him this stuff in school.

I have conversations with couples that have been married for years, and for all that time the one spouse didn’t know how important something was to the other spouse. Maybe it’s a dream vacation or a needed house renovation, but it’s something that the one person really wants, and the other is unaware of. The ironic thing is that often the expenditure was something that was affordable, yet neglected since the topic was never really discussed.

I have conversations with young people who start their adult lives deeply in debt from buying stuff that they didn’t really need. Or maybe they want to buy a house, but nobody’s told them what needs to happen first.

I have conversations with people who don’t know how to write a cheque. They haven’t done it before.

The conversations with widows are often delicate. It’s not unusual for one spouse to handle the finances. That might work fine while both spouses are around, but there can be a lengthy adjustment phase if the decision maker isn’t in the picture anymore. Losing a spouse is hard enough, but to be in the dark about finances during the grieving process only magnifies the stress of the situation.

I even have conversations with people that we have never heard of who think they have some accounts with us. That might sound a little strange, that people lose track of where their own accounts are, but it happens more often than you might think.

Most people have money questions. If that’s you, then ask. There is no need to be embarrassed. Clearly not a lot of people are volunteering the information. So go get it. Everyone has to learn sometime. It’s better to learn about money sooner rather than later.

Talk to your spouse about money. About where it is going, and about where it should be going.

If you are the executor of your parent’s estate you should know where their will is kept. Your executor should know where yours is, along with statements for your mortgage, investment accounts, and insurance policies. Make sure the people who need to know where your money is actually do know where your money is. One day you won’t be here to tell them.

Talk to your kids about money. Tell them about debt, how to establish and maintain a good credit history, and the power of compounding. Steer them to a certified financial planner. Even have them sit in on your own appointments. It’s never too early to get on the right track. You wouldn’t let them learn about sex, drugs, alcohol or tobacco by experimentation. Why would you let them learn about money that way?

Break the money taboo. Making good decisions about your money is important. It’s neither gauche nor inappropriate to talk to your loved ones about money. In fact, it’s the right thing to do.

The opinions expressed are those of Brad Brain, CFP, R.F.P. CLU, CH.F.C., FCSI.  Brad Brain is a Certified Financial Planner with Manulife Securities Incorporated, Member CIPF and with Manulife Securities Insurance Agency in Fort St John, BC. Brad Brain can be reached at brad.brain@manulifesecurities.ca or www.bradbrainfinancial.com.