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At The Movies with Peter Clease: Sex and the City 2

Sometimes we are, not so much, at a loss for words, but a loss for how to express those words, especially when those words are hostile, irritated words.

Sometimes we are, not so much, at a loss for words, but a loss for how to express those words, especially when those words are hostile, irritated words. Indeed, we must join the fabric, which so perfectly binds those words, despite the fact that we have no more thread to work with. That brings me to an internal question: how to open this review? Shall I open with a witty joke about women's shoes or instantly voice my frustration? The answer to that query is neither; instead, I shall try the subtle route: this movie is conformist, hypocritical, distasteful chick-flick porn!

Okay, deep breaths, now. Breathe in and breathe out. Whew--now, I am at peace, so allow me to get started. Speaking from the perspective of a male, "Sex and the City 2" is a mental castration, and I assume, for females, it is disheartening to know that there could possibly be women as dull, nauseating and brainless as the four who star in this unbelievably moronic tale. Every minute of this dim-witted farce is painful, but it is not painful in the traditional sense; it is painful in its egregious effort to be funny and sexy, when it is snooty, obnoxious and ugly. The girlish frauds, who are distinguished by their hair {long (Sarah Jessica Parker), red (Cynthia Nixon), black (Kristin Davis) and blond (Kim Cattrall)}, are at a crossroads in their lives: they are all equally boring, with dripping wealth, and as such is the case, they realize they are intolerable human beings. For this reason, the shrews migrate to Abu Dhabi, and we plunge, headfirst, into a fiery inferno.

Somewhere, during the late hours of the evening, there is some whipped, lovesick chap, holding hands with his girlfriend, waiting for entrance into "Sex and the City 2." At the present time, the couple are deeply and truly enamoured with each other; they exist as a long-time couple; they live carefree, in perfect happiness. The night previous, the fellow took a page from George Bailey, went with his dear for a moonlit stroll, and offered her the moon--and she accepted it. But there were many other transcendent nights, and mornings, and afternoons, as well as many wonderful breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Making their way up the line, the lovebirds walk into the theatre, they take their favourite seats, and the doors shut behind them as the movie begins. When the popcorn runs out and the credits roll, this man and woman will never see each other again.

1.5 out of 5 popcorns.

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