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Chews the News

HST: Bill Vander Zalm plans to deliver his Anti-HST petition to Elections BC for verification onJuly 5th. He will then launch recall campaigns targetingMLAs who are most vulnerable. One MLA no longeron the hit list is Blair Lekstrom.

HST: Bill Vander Zalm plans to deliver his Anti-HST petition to Elections BC for verification onJuly 5th. He will then launch recall campaigns targetingMLAs who are most vulnerable. One MLA no longeron the hit list is Blair Lekstrom. Amid calls of"What a fine fellow!", Lekstrom resigned from theBC Liberals after his constituents made it clear theydon't want the HST. But Lekstrom has repeatedly saidhe thinks the HST would be good for BC. If he disagreeswith the majority of his constituents on such abasic issue it begs the question -- how can he continueto represent them? The answer is very simple.Politics is the art of being chased by an angry crowdwhile giving the impression you are leading a paradeof your supporters.

SOUTH AFRICA: World Cup soccer continues. Anexpert says those loud plastic horns the fans blow areon a sound frequency that can damage the electronicsinside your TV. Give me a break. My wife has rented"Titanic" seven times. If Celine Dion's singing didn't fryour TV -- nothing will.

HARRY: In Florida, the new Harry Potter theme-parkopened. The real Harry Potter was there. On his way tothe park he was ticketed for flying a broomstick whiletexting.

FLASH THIS: Because texting while driving is notdistracting enough, California may legalize electronicflashing ads on car license plates. You're driving intraffic -- the car in front stops -- its license plateflashes a commercial. Coming soon -- contact lenseswith commercials that flash every time you close youreyes.

TENNIS, ANYONE? In London, the Wimbledon TennisTournament continues. The most annoying thing aboutprofessional tennis players? The grunting. Every timethey hit the ball they do the grunt thing. You can buy aCD: "Wimbledon's Greatest Grunts".

SPIES: The Canadian spy agency CSIS issued a warning.They say there are politicians in Canada who areactually secret agents for foreign nations. Listening tosome politicians, and seeing how well they relate tonormal human beings, I wouldn't be surprised if someof them are from the Planet Zorcon.

FUN IN THE KITCHEN: Maytag announced they willrecall two million dishwashers because of a fire hazard.All is not well with your kitchen appliances when thereare flames coming from your dishwasher -- there aresoap bubbles coming from your microwave -- and BPjust lowered a concrete dome over your refrigerator.

G8/G20: World leaders gathered in Ontario for theG8 and G20 Summits. They came to discuss the strugglingworld economy. If I understand the experts correctly-- the world's economy would not be in deepdoo-doo if poor people would just spend more money.

SOLSTICE: Monday of last week was the summer solstice,the day with most hours of sunlight. Fifty yearsfrom now -- when we're all using solar energy -- utilitycompanies will rip off customers with a "SolsticeSurcharge".

GOOD DOGGY: In Miami, a rich woman died and left$3 million to her Chihuahua dog and only $1 million toher son. Although -- to be fair -- her son has fleas.

BAD DOGGY: In Ridge Manor, Florida. A man wasinjured but he'll be OK. He was run over by his owntruck when his dog put it in gear. He was under thetruck checking for an oil leak. The truck engine wasrunning. The truck door was open. The dog jumped in.Put the truck in gear. Drove over the man. Friends, thisis how it starts. The dogs have begun their quest forworld domination. And you thought it would be thecats.

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