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Chews the News

CELEBRATION: Last week there was a big celebrationin the world of toys. The Etch-A-Sketch turned 50.The inventor actually came up with the basic idea for theEtch-A-Sketch 60 years ago. But he had to wait 10 yearsfor another guy to invent knobs.

CELEBRATION: Last week there was a big celebrationin the world of toys. The Etch-A-Sketch turned 50.The inventor actually came up with the basic idea for theEtch-A-Sketch 60 years ago. But he had to wait 10 yearsfor another guy to invent knobs.

FOOD MOOD: In an Internet survey: 70 per cent of singleCanadian women said the best type of first date is aquiet meal in a restaurant. And ladies -- after the romanticmeal is over -- you know he really likes you if he offers toshare his toothpick.

BIKE BULLETIN: The Tour De France ended in Paris onSunday. This year's Tour De France passed through Belgiumand Holland. That's what happens when you ride a bikewith your head down and you don't read the highwaysigns.

SMART CARS: Maybe you've seen those little "SmartCars", there are a couple of them around town. An Indiancompany is making a car that's even smaller. Their car is sosmall -- the glove compartment only holds one glove.

iPHONE: Buyers of the new iPhone are having receptionproblems with the phone's antenna. Apparently there's aknack to holding the iPhone. Some people have it, somepeople don't. So please be nice if a guy stops you on thestreet and says "Excuse me, I need to call my wife. Wouldyou hold my iPhone while I talk into it?"

COMICS: In San Diego, California: Thousands of comicbook fans were in town for the Annual Comic Con convention.I like to read Batman comics. Just lately I'venoticed Batman is slowing down. Where he used to do"POW!" followed by "SPLAT!" and "ZONK!" -- sometimeshe just does the "ZONK!"

ROCK BAND: A new version of the "Rock Band" videogame will be released in Canada on October 26th. As wellas guitars and drums it will have a keyboard. Golly gosh,when are they going to give some recognition to theinstrument that did so much for rock music -- the tambourine?

OUT OF THEIR CENSUS: The federal government hasscrapped the mandatory long-form census. People with privacyconcerns won't have to fill out the long form. Someof the census questions are intrusive. But in other ways thecensus is incomplete. For example, there's no place for ahousehold to list itself as being headed by a cat.

MEDICAL: According to a study by the University ofMinnesota, cat owners have a lower risk of heart attack.And if you do own a cat -- and you do have a heart attack-- well -- that's just one more reason why your cat will feelsuperior to you.

VANCOUVER: The latest thing in trendy Vancouver?Yoga for dogs. People are paying hundreds of dollars amonth to enroll their dogs in canine yoga classes. I guessthis is for dogs who want to achieve a higher level of innerpeace and harmony than they can get from drinking out ofa toilet.

MONKEY BUSINESS: A couple of weeks ago there was areport the Taliban in Afghanistan are training monkeys touse machine guns. Intelligence sources now say thosereports are false. Well, thank goodness. Monkeys on thebattlefield? That could lead to gorilla warfare.

BANANA BULLETIN: An expert says bananas may goextinct. Wow, I'll bet monkeys won't like that when it happens.They have all that peeling experience -- and nothingto use it on. (It just won't be the same - walking into DairyQueen and ordering a Cucumber Split.)

DAWSON CREEK: Last week's airshow was a big success.Large crowds turned out to watch the Snowbirds roarthrough the air. Many years ago I was invited to take a ridein a fighter jet. It was not a good experience. The pilot"looped the loop" and I threw up. Or maybe I threwdown.

chewsthenews@gmail.com

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