FOOTBALL FUN: We start news chewing in Edmonton, where the 106th Grey Cup game was played on Sunday. A CBC commentator said football is similar to politics, with the strategy of back and forth play. I guess there are similarities. Although some politicians talk like they played too many football games without wearing a helmet.
TREE TREAT: The Christmas tree in Fort St John’s Centennial Park sure is a treat. The multi-coloured lights are delightful. I’m so old I can remember when multi-coloured lights were invented. When I was a kid, our Christmas tree lights were in black and white.
IKEA IDEA: Last week, IKEA stores across Canada announced a new program. They will buy back your old furniture. And coming soon: If you say a lot of curse words while assembling IKEA furniture, they will send somebody to wash out your mouth with soap.
CRUSTACEAN CRIME: A strange crime at a restaurant in Florida. Last week, a woman was charged with plucking a live lobster from a tank and running away. She was caught when she returned for the butter.
SHOP UNTIL YOU DROP: Friday was Black Friday, the most frenzied shopping day of the year. There were bargains to be grabbed in every store. Maybe I’m turning cranky in my old age, but it seems to me Black Friday is now way too commercialized.
ONLINE CRIME: Monday of this week was Cyber Monday, online shoppers surf the internet for bargains. Be cautious when shopping online. There are lots of crooks on the internet. I clicked on one internet site and they offered to sell me the Site C Dam. The price was good too. With delivery included.
POPE PARTICULARS: Speaking of the internet, a Rome newspaper reported the Pope has a computer and frequently goes online. Gee, I wonder if he shops online. I hear the Pope does not have a Paypal account, he has a Papal account.
SICK YET? On TV, an expert said the Internet has triggered a huge increase in hypochondria. People go online and read medical information and start to think they have diseases they do not have. By the way: The hardest part of Hypochondriacs Anonymous is admitting you don’t have a problem.
PHONE PHUN: Do you kind of get the idea technology is going nuts? There was a report Samsung’s next phone will have SIX cameras. I guess it’s great for those times you want to take a selfie of yourself taking a selfie, taking a selfie, taking a selfie, taking a selfie, taking a selfie.
REINCARNATION REPORT: In a survey, 33% of respondents said they believe in reincarnation. Nobody can convince me reincarnation is real. Not in this lifetime, anyway.
FACEBOOK FACT: Psychologists did a study and announced Facebook can cause depression. That’s very true. You will feel depressed after youdo a Facebook search for a long lost school friend, and you discover he has a better job, a fancier house, and a nicer life than you have.
TALK TALK TALK: In a study released last week, you can burn calories just talking. Maybe I’ll open a chain of weight-loss clinics called Gab and Flab.
ROMAINE REPORT: The Public Health Agency of Canada is keeping its eye on the romaine lettuce situation, once again there’s a contamination problem. I’ve never trusted romaine lettuce. Romaine lettuce kind of looks like kale — after kale paid a visit to the beauty parlor.