In the 21st century, marrying at an older age is becoming more common and the average age of couples is getting older.
There are plenty of reasons why this is (young adults leaving the nest later in life, getting longer educations, travel bugs, etc), but one thing that this ‘trend’ is bringing to light is how marrying later in life creates longer-lasting unions, whether it’s a first marriage at an older age or a second marriage after marrying too young the first time.
You’re older and, hopefully, wiser, so marrying in your thirties (first, second or third marriage) is likely going be a better decision than marrying at 18.
So why do marriage professionals say you should marry older?
1) Confidence. When you’re older, you’ve made bad decisions and good decisions, and you’ve learned a thing or two. That life experience alone means you become more confident in yourself overall as you age, whether that’s regarding decision-making, your abilities or your future. So when it comes to picking a life partner, that means you tend to trust yourself to make good choices. You’re less likely to tolerate bad behavior or ignore red flags, and you know what you want in a relationship. You trust your gut, and odds are you’re going to filter out the people you shouldn’t be with and realize a good thing when you find it.
2) Education/Life Experience. If you’ve finished college, university or trades school and have gathered your fair share of street sense over the years, your intelligence gives you a better base to build a relationship on. You’re smarter, wiser, more career-orientated and know the game of life. This gives you a more concrete foundation to build on with someone else because you actually have some knowledge to work with.
3) Responsibility. When you’re older, you know the value of a dollar. You’ve made some mistakes, but also have had time to fix them (or your credit) and learn from them, or maybe even tuck away some money in a savings account. When couples marry older, both tend to be on the same page when it comes to money, which leads to less stress regarding financial issues and better decisions. Take children, for example. A couple that marries older understands how expensive having kids is, and are more likely to plan better in preparation for starting a family than a young couple who might dive in headfirst. Older couples tend to wait until they can afford to have kids instead of having kids first and dealing with finances later.
4) Health and Happiness. Professionals say that couples who marry older tend to have happier unions than those who marry younger because of lower levels of stress. Older couples tend to have more financial stability, less work-related stress, more things in common and more dedication to a long-lasting marriage. They treat their marriage like a companionship, expecting a lot of commitment and hard work to build a friendship based on common interests. They also have the ability to sort out problems with more maturity and better levels of tolerance than younger couples, which leads to less marital conflict.
At the end of the day, you don’t have to marry at an older age to marry well. After all, high school sweethearts do still exist, albeit they’re a dying breed in an evolving world of marriage.
Regardless of age, marriage is never something anyone should rush into. It should be considered carefully and done for the right reasons. Above all, it should be understood for what it is, and you should understand yourself first, whether that takes two years or 25 years.