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Folkmarks - How Yacht Boy became Rat Boy (A fairly tail)

Yacht Boy leaps from the sinking ship of Doobieland intothe waiting arms of his admiring minions and swiftly hunkersdown to do damage control by enlisting the TownCriers to tell all.

Yacht Boy leaps from the sinking ship of Doobieland intothe waiting arms of his admiring minions and swiftly hunkersdown to do damage control by enlisting the TownCriers to tell all. Thus, Yacht Boy utilizes one leap, and manyloud proclamations, to avoid several consequences that aredue the Oily Minister that leads the Waterworks beside anddown the slippery slopes of the Kingdom of Oil.

Plus, he can evade the accounting of the Doobielandgovernment's Outlandish 2010 Winter Event in the rainySouthern Mountains of Doobieland.

Yes, by a single leap, Yacht Boy can claim he is supportinghis followers by squealing against, and leaping awayfrom, a tax he helped design and enthusiastically declaredwonderful.

In his speech to the Surf People, Yacht Boy makes it perfectlyclear that Doobieland is suffering from a surplus ofpenniless, Greedy People who want things like food, housing,medicine, schooling and clean water. Furthermore, heresents the idea that anyone could possibly think he hasgreedy aspirations himself. Did he not give up the lucrativetitle of Oily Minister, which action seriously deprives him ofseveral sets of new shoes, a few suits and mayhap an extrasteed?

At the end of his windy explanation dispensed to theSurf People through various means, other than with theTown Criers, such as arguing in the shops, Yacht Boy callshis Minions to his side to give battle. Various Super Minionsrespond with suggestions to maintain Yacht Boy's suctionon the Surf Peoples' pocketbooks. The Minions call forYacht Boy to infer he could get Lurch The Leader's Throne.A few of the Surf People actually think it's a good idea as itis fairly difficult for the average Surf Person to tell the differencebetween Lurch the Leader and Yacht Boy, so theythink at least they could recognize what they would be votingfor, plus they believe drinking water comes from bluebottles.

In the meantime, Greedy People are expectingthings like food, clothing, medical aid and schooling fortheir puling children even if they are ill or are disabled orare ancient. Yacht Boy pulls out all the plugs by insisting it'sthe Greedy People who have taken all the money. TherebyYacht Boy directs the angry gaze of the Surf People towardthe Greedy People and avoids having to answer seriousquestions about where all the money went that was collectedby the Tax Collector Grunts.

Yacht Boy, having given up title of Oily Ministeralso can avoid answering such questions as: "What's thatblack gunk on the water? Why can I set my water on fire?Why are all the fish dying? What's that black stuff stickingto the duck's feathers and why are geese walking northinstead of flying?

Oh yes, Yacht Boy has done the deed and Lurchthe Leader knows all about it. In fact, Lurch the Leadercouldn't miss such a big splash, especially when somethingblack and sticky happened to show upon his lapel shortlyafter the splash. Oh, yes Lurch the Leader can tell a deed bythe black stuff splashed upon his lapel.

Shortly after the splash, a herd of Minions withsimilar minds were interviewed as to the chances of beingjoined by Yacht Boy. They said they would not be interestedin supporting Yacht Boy, as they believed him to be a rat.One of the small children in the crowd of Surf People pointedout that most of the Minions had tails hanging out oftheir pantalets of equal length to the tail of Yacht Boy.Whereupon, all the Minions of whatever political bentswiftly pulled up their tails and smoothed their whiskersand looked at one another with teeth firmly covered bytheir stiff upper lips. Surf Child was dragged away firmly bya Mother Surfer but his ghostly, pointing finger remained inthe air for a long time after he was gone.

As for Yacht Boy, Lurch the Leader grabbed himround the throat by his tail. As Yacht Boy struggled forbreath trying to remove Lurch's tail from round his throat heheard Lurch the Leader say, "You can't out-rat this rat, RatBoy."