This column is dedicated to making your life abeach. No matter how frustrating, sad or terribleyou find your life right now, there are several simplethings that you can start doing to improve your life.This stuff works, it is time tested. All you have to dois do it.
A quick review of instant rapport or: How to makealmost everyone like you... do this:
1. Smile at them immediately, whether you want toor not fake it till you make it!
2. If this person is a stranger or an acquaintancethat you haven't seen for a while, stick out your handfor a reciprocal handshake. If this is a new personyou are meeting for the first time, volunteer yourname along with the handshake.
The combination of a smile, handshake and yourname indicates that you are friendly and the strangerwill offer his name as well. BE SURE to get the nameright and REMEMBER it
3.Pay attention during the conversation to the tone,volume and phrasing used by the person. You aregoing to ?mirror? the speech. Keep them talking abouttheir stuff keep asking questions and when it is yourturn to respond be very brief and put the spotlightback on them and their stuff.
Now, take a look at their body language and startto mirror their position and postures. If the personscratches their nose, wait a couple of second andscratch your nose or cheek or ear in a similar gesture.If they sit back and put their hands behind their head,wait a few seconds and mirror it if they cross theirlegs you get the idea. It is amazing but as long asyou pause a few seconds, they are not aware of this?mirroring?. The subconscious message is the same aswith the voice this guy is just like me and I like that.Their conscious mind is talking away about the topic athand and is totally oblivious of these subtle messages.
This takes practice and is best done one segment ata time. If you try to do too much all at once, it almostlike your schizoid because you still have to keep trackof the conversation and prepare intelligent questions.
Subliminal advertising has been around for a longtime and it works. The idea that a salesman or bankclerk can feel like an instant buddy is a new phenomenonand you should be forewarned because this warm,cuddly friendly feeling can be used to your disadvantage.On the other hand, if you practice this, you'llnever have to feel lonely again. You can strike up aconversation anywhere and within ninety seconds youhave a new friend and that is pretty important tomost of us.
Check out nicholasboothman.com for more details.It's been a long time since Dale Carnagie wrote "Howto make friends and influence people" in the 1930s.This is the space-age version of the old classic.
