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Life is a Beach - You can easily develop rapport

This column is dedicated to making your life a beach. Nomatter how frustrating, sad or terrible you find your life rightnow, there are several simple things that you can start doingto improve your life. This stuff works, it is time tested.

This column is dedicated to making your life a beach. Nomatter how frustrating, sad or terrible you find your life rightnow, there are several simple things that you can start doingto improve your life. This stuff works, it is time tested. All youhave to do is do it.

The endorphin stage is over and if you tried it out, youknow it works. Now we move onto something just as important:RAPPORT.

Most of us want to be liked, appreciated and respected.There are exceptions, those people who want power and controlat any cost, (many politicians, abusive partners, tyranicalbosses etc.) and also the sociopaths who are not wired to haveany empathy for their fellows. We generally enjoy beingaround one another for better or worse. We just hang out.We are more like caribou and elk that stay in large herds thanthe moose, which is a solitary animal most of the year.

Some of my clients have social phobias or disorders thatleave them feeling left out and lonely. If you were that shy,sensitive kid, that social difficulty can not only last a lifetime,but it gets magnified with age, and you can become evenmore withdrawn and isolated. No wonder the ultimate penaltyand torture for prisoners is solitary confinement.

I am sure you have met someone and taken an almostinstant liking or disliking to them

People talked about being ON THE SAME WA VE LENGTHor CHEMISTRY and the CHARISMA a certain personality has.Remember Trudeau mania in the 60s?

This phenomena was a mystery, until recently. Behavioralscientists and sociologists began to look into the art of turningpeople on and made some discoveries that would haveastounded Dale Carnegie, the author of the pioneering book"How to make friends and influence people." Since the publicationof that first self-help book in 1937 until recently, thedetails of why some people had charisma were still vague andobscure.

But now we finally have some answers.

Charisma is an acquired behaviour. You can learn to becharismatic. Isn't that mind-blowing! Everyone knows that ifyou are handsome and attractive, doors just seem to openright across the board. There is no disputing this and consequentlyplastic surgeons are wealthy and popular.

The good news is that you may not be able to alter yourfamily genes or afford a plastic surgeon, but you can easilydevelop rapport. It's an inside job. So, if you want people tolike you and be your friend, if you want more sales or thatbonus you deserve, if you want a closer and more meaningfulrelationship with your family, then stay tuned. Next week wewill get into the nitty-gritty of learning how to establish rapportwith just about anybody. Imagine how your life wouldimprove.

Rapport skill-learning is a multi-billion dollar industry butnext week I will give you the basics free of charge. Plastic surgeonscharge a lot more.