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Slice of Life - Slightly cracked thoughts

People are always asking which camefirst the chicken or the egg. I just wantto know how to crack an egg without gettingpieces of the shell in the bowl.

People are always asking which camefirst the chicken or the egg. I just wantto know how to crack an egg without gettingpieces of the shell in the bowl. Andwhen I do get pieces of shell in the bowl,how do I get them back out?

Chasing that piece of shell around isenough to drive a person to distraction. Theonly technique that half works for me is toget the piece of shell trapped against theside of the bowl with a spoon and thenslowly slide it up to the rim.

It's a tension-filled technique. A lot cango wrong and usually does. The shell canbail off the spoon at any point, but typicallyit waits until I almost have it to the top and Iam ready to claim victory before divingheadlong back into the batter; which is whyI say it only half works.

At this point there is much spoon wavingand flavourful language. I am not a patientperson. The world should count its blessingsthat I didn't somehow end up a surgeon.Tossing scalpels around the operating roomand shouting about stupid hearts that refuseto transplant isn't the sort of trait one looksfor in a doctor.

It's not something to commend in a cookeither. Even if you're Gordon Ramsey. Ormaybe especially if you're Gordon Ramsey.Or in anyone for that matter. But enoughabout character flaws.

I figured there had to be a better way toextract the shell from the mixing bowl.Some neat little household trick like usingtoothpaste to clean silver or cutting a tinyhole in the corner of a paper bag, dumpingfreshly popped corn inside and shaking itabout so all the unpopped kernels fall outthe hole. So off I went to search the internet.

I discovered that engineers at the OhioState University have come up with a patentedprocess to use eggshells to soak upcarbon dioxide from a reaction that produceshydrogen fuel.

My interest being more in making muffinsthat soaking up carbon dioxide, I continuedmy search. I learned that eggshells can becrushed up and scattered around your gardento keep slugs from gobbling up yourgreens. The sharp edges keep the slipperyslugs from sliding over them. You can alsouse egg shell halves for starting seedlings just remember to keep the egg carton forsupporting the shells. After sowing seeds inthe garden you can sprinkle crushed eggshellson top to mark the row until theysprout.

More searching revealed that whenyou're out camping and realize to your greathorror that you left the wire wool at home(and who hasn't) there is no cause for alarm.You can simply toss egg shells into the cookingpot and scrub away. I am going out ona bit of a limb here, but I'm thinking if youran out of wire wool at home the egg shellswouldn't know that you weren't in thewoods and would still scrub the crud offyour pots.

I found out that placing crushed eggshellsin with the coffee grounds producesa smoother and less acidic tasting brew.Could that be Tim Horton's secret?Detailed instructions included baking theshells in the oven at 350 F for 10 minutes,then crushing them and storing in an airtightcontainer. Add one teaspoon to everybatch of coffee.

I am pretty sure I have five hens and sixroosters from the 11 chicks I hatched outthis spring. Since they're still too young toeither crow or lay an egg I can't say for sure.Five hens might not seem like a lot butwhen you consider that each one will lay anegg almost every day that works out to twoand a half dozen a week, 10 dozen a monthor 1,440 eggs a year. That's a whole lot ofegg shells.

I am happy through my searching to havediscovered all kinds of things to do with eggshells, but I still haven't found a quick andeasy way to get a broken egg shell out ofthe batter. So I am turning it over to you,dear reader. Surely someone out there hasstumbled upon the secret and is generousenough to share it. The first answer thatworks gets a free rooster...whether you wantone or not.

Shannon McKinnon is a Canadianhumour columnist. You can read past columnsby dropping by shannonmckinnon.com